Well, this week I start a 10-week business class for performers, and I must say, ALL of my resistance is coming up. Resistance is the enemy y’all, make no mistake about it, and this enemy is – if nothing else – stealth. (See Steven Pressfield’s book The War of Art). I go from “bring it” to terror at Concord speed.
You know what intimidates me most about building my business? Technology. I feel shame for not being as tech savvy as I “should be.” Shame is Resistance’s favorite weapon. Shame will tell you so much ridiculous nonsense! I have always loved the acronym for shame: Should Have Already Mastered Everything. I think I’m supposed to already know a lot of what my teacher/coach is going to teach me before I even get to class!
I’m reminded of a boyfriend I had in the ‘80s, who was a really cute singer in a rock band who wanted to learn how to play guitar, but he kept putting off getting a teacher because he didn’t want the teacher to know HE DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO PLAY GUITAR!
I don’t know about you, but I could totally relate.
I know that having resistance to learning is about wanting to feel like I’m in control. But by not learning more about my business and how to make it grow, I stay small. Oy, it’s an awful catch 22 isn’t it?
So, I will let you know how it goes. I’m not going to make any promises.
I’m just grateful to be willing to learn. I’m willing to take a chance, make mistakes, fail, succeed — and in the words of one of my favorite therapists — commit to sucking!